Thursday, July 14, 2011

Harry Potter meets The Social Grace

I am a big fan of Harry Potter. I think the books are worlds better than the movies, but I give the filmmakers their due; they've done an amazing job translating the material to the silver screen. With the opening of the final film this week, it feels like the end of an era.

Carrie Rickey of Flickgrrl fame offers a great take on the series here.

For sheer fun as the momentous day arrives, I thought I would compile a Gracelist--a list of imagined Gracious recommendations for the wizarding world to as they take their proverbial final bows...

Top Ten Transfigurations The Social Grace Would Like to See:

  1. Hermione, icon and muse for Insufferable Know-It-Alls everywhere, will learn to distinguish between the times to wave your hand frantically in the air to share your prodigious knowledge and the times to sit quietly and keep your own counsel.
  2. Someone will gently steer Luna Lovegood away from the cork necklaces and radish earrings in favor of more tasteful accessories.
  3. Ginny, Luna, Hermione, Lavender, Cho, and all the Hogwarts witches will realize that there will be a lid for every cauldron (if they decide they even want one). They will consider that the Harrys of the world may be famous, handsome and heroic, the Rons of the world are brave and funny, the Dracos of the world are rich but evil, and the Nevilles of the world eventually grow tall, shed their paunches, straighten their teeth, bring you incredible flowers, and will put themselves between you and a Death Eater when it counts.
  4. The Dursleys will read Gift Giving 101 and send Harry a ten-galleon gift certificate to Quality Quidditch Supplies as a thank you gift for saving the world.
  5. Hagrid will appear on "Queer Eye for the Straight Wizard", adopt Metrosexual grooming habits, and retire his horrible brown fur suit.
  6. Rita Skeeter's biography on Albus Dumbledore will be remaindered within a month of its release. A more accurate, honest, and positive version will be authored by Hermione and demand will challenge even the magical inventory at Flourish and Blotts.
  7. A percentage of the prodigious proceeds of Hermione's book will fund Hogwarts scholarships for young wizards in need of financial aid. Muggle borns, half bloods, and pure bloods may apply.
  8. Xenophilius Lovegood will resurrect The Quibbler as a slick, newsy, cutting-edge publication generating sufficient revenues to rebuild his house and get a decent haircut, with plenty left over to buy his daughter some fashionable jewelry and accessories (see #2).
  9. The Social Grace will be a regular column in the new Quibbler. After all, wizards need etiquette reminders, too!
  10. Harry will hire a competent decorator for 12 Grimmauld Place, and will transform the house into a warm, bright, beautiful, comfortable home in which to live happily ever after.

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