Thursday, March 29, 2012

Grace, Overexposed

As I told you in my previous post, Graces, it's been an epically humiliating week. On the heels of my email snafu, I survived, well, for lack of a better term, a wardrobe malfunction. It wasn't as widely watched or overly exposing as JLo's slip at the Oscars, but it was mortifying nonetheless.

Here's the story....

I was invited to a press event to cover a restaurant launch on behalf of the Philly Food Lovers. Thrilled to be offered such a plumb gig--free appetizers, free drinks, and interesting people in the food and media worlds--I spruced myself up and headed over. I had donned a new spring outfit for the occasion: a pair of black, snugly fitting trousers with a black cami, topped with a bright yellow knit blazer. Upon arriving at the launch party, I sampled the food and drinks on offer, took copious notes and photos, talked with the chef, the GM, several of the restaurant's suppliers, and various other movers and shakers. Upon departing this lovely event, I planned to write a favorable review and was quite pleased with the entire affair.

Imagine my shock, dismay and deflation when, upon arriving home, my daughter said, "Mom, you have a hole in the crotch of your pants. I can see your undies." And Graces, I am horrified to tell you that the undergarments on display were bright red.

What's a Grace to do?

Really, at that point, all you can do is laugh it off.

In looking back, I was trying to decide whether my cardinal rule, that Graces Tell (unobtrusively, of course, about spinach in the teeth, unzipped flies, exposed tags, etc.) would apply here. Because the rule is intended to address a condition that can be immediately remedied. This was not the case with my gaping hole. Unless the restaurant doubled as a tailor shop (which did not seem to be the case), the revelation would have served to make me impossibly self-conscious and forced me to leave abruptly, thus missing out on the chocolate covered figs paired with port wine. I suppose I could have removed my jacket and tied it, backwards, around my waist, but in addition to looking unfashionable, it would have left my top half inappropriately exposed for a business event on an early spring evening.

So, in the end, I concluded that ignorance was bliss, even though I was mortified afterwards. And I will be sure to inspect all apparel--even brand new clothes--before donning them.

Have you suffered any embarrassing wardrobe malfunctions of late?


TortugaRachel said...

I have been there, and it is mortifying. I was at church on Christmas Eve and, as the youth leader, was supposed to introduce the kids' nativity pageant. This meant walking up the aisle, standing before the congregation, speaking, and then walking back to my seat. Of course, taking communion later also meant the whole up and back down the aisle thing. It wasn't until we got home that my mother, who was visiting at the time, informed me of the hole in my skirt, right over my hind end, exposing lovely floral undies to God and everyone.

No one has mentioned it, so I may have gotten away with it, or else they are all too polite to bring it up. Doesn't matter though, I was still terribly embarrassed when I found out about it. In retrospect, however, I am glad I didn't find out about it until I was home, because there was nothing I could have done about it at the time except stress, and since I didn't know, I didn't stress and was able to enjoy the service.

I definitely think this one goes against the "graces tell" rule unless there is something that can be done to avoid or fix the situation. And if not, hey, maybe now they have something to remember you by!

Anonymous said...

I remember walking home from high school and getting home to realize that my backpack somehow caught the bottom edge of my skirt and held onto it, so I walked home (1.5 miles!) with my skirt held high and undies showing!

Now I'm wondering--is telling a woman that you can see it's her time of the month something that falls into the "graces tell" or "she can't do anything about it" category?

Social Grace said...

Dear Anonymous--Assuming the poor lass could somehow remedy the situation (pull down her skirt, tie a sweater around her waist, change her clothing) then yes, you should absolutely tell her. thanks for reading, and thanks for writing!

Julia said...

I don't remember any embarrassing situations at the moment, but in your case, I think it is better to be oblivious of what's going on, otherwise the night would be ruined and you were uncomfortable. I bet that not so many people even noticed.