Monday, August 08, 2011

UnGracious Typo Gaffes

I have recently begun doing some freelance writing--while not nearly as much fun as thesocialgrace or phillyfoodlovers, these gigs pay real money. These little job-ettes have taken the form of corporate newsletters, press releases, community bulletins, and some industry and sales blogs. Not surprisingly, the fun and interest level of each topic is in inverse proportion to the remuneration....but it keeps me out of the bars.

As a result of my taking on this type of work, my great uncle sent me some ab fab newsletter bloopers that he came across, all of which appeared in actual community/church/synagogue/ school/ organization/neighborhood bulletins, all of which should make their writers and editors turn an unflattering shade of red.

So, while grammatical, spelling, and typographical errors don't fall strictly within the bounds of etiquette, they overlap. You'll see what I mean; if you don't proofread carefully, you may wind up saying something offensive......or at least questionable.

Here, in all of their glory, are a selection of the funniest newsletter bloopers sent to me by my dear (and very funny) Uncle Herb:

Weight Watchers will meet in the Community Room at 7pm. Please enter through the wide double doors.

The school basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8. Come watch us kill Christ the King.

For those of you who have children and don't know it, there is a nursery in the basement.

Scouts are collecting aluminum cans for recycling. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

The Fasting and Prayer Conference includes meals.

Don't forget the town rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands.

Tonight's evening service topic will be "What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to choir practice.

The block party will feature an evening of great food, super entertainment, and gracious hostility.

Don't let worry kill you off--let the Church help.

The Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday in the community room. Please use the back door.

The 8th Grade will present Shakespeare's Hamlet Friday night. Don't miss this tragedy.

The Board Chair unveiled the new fundraising campaign slogan: "I Upped My Pledge--Up Yours."

The pancake breakfast will be held at the firehouse next Sunday. Please alert the committee if you are willing to loan them your electric girdle.

The Independence Day concert and sing along will be held Friday evening at 8pm on the village green. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

Eric Stein and Rachel Miller were married on October 24 in the sanctuary. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

Sunday's sermon topics are as follows. Morning service: "Jesus Walks on the Water." Evening service: "Searching for Jesus."

So, tell me Graces: Did you ever make a whopper of a typo, only to learn it too late?

1 comment:

Postpanamamaxi said...

Dear Grace,
many people have the best intentions and end up messing around with written words just because they are not used to write.
Spoken language and written language are two different things. And very often it ends up in unintentional humor.

Do you know the movie "Four weddings and a funeral"? Remember the Best Man's speech at the second wedding. He drops a brick in every single sentence. I love this movie!

I want to thank you for this blogpost. I enjoy reading it every time, but today I could not stop grinning.

And as I am not a native English speaker, it was a good feeling to have found almost each mistake. Reading your blog is a good practise for me.

Have a nice day!

Yours, Liz