Monday, June 13, 2011
What is a Grace to do when one's better half is constantly tardy? When there is the option, is it more gracious to leave one's companion behind and make a timely entry solo (which makes one's partner look Gruntly upon his or her late arrival), or is it better to enter as a couple, even if late (which makes both of us look Gruntly)?
Cattle Prods? Strangulation? Divorce? I LOATHE tardiness. But, I'm sure your chap has lots of other redeeming qualities, so, let's solve this one:
My best advice to you is to lie. While I normally advocate honesty in relationships, this goes into the 'little white lie' category, not the 'whopper' classification. You're not claiming to have paid the mortgage when you actually bought several pairs of Manolos, nor are you claiming to be drafting a sales proposal on the computer when you are carrying on a cyber-affair. You are simply ensuring that you depart for social events on time in the most painless way.
If you are due to depart at 6:30, tell him that you need to leave by 6 (or minus whatever his customary time deficit is.) I have the same situation with several of my family members. Last week, they were coming in for a 3pm event at my daughter's school. I told them it started at 2, and I still had to go by myself and save seats. They sprinted in as the music started, round about 3:05. Inexcusable, but after XX years, I know with whom I have the pleasure and I circumvent the problem.
As far as leaving without Mr. Tardy and letting him arrive in his own not-so-sweet time, I'm all for it--provided it doesn't inconvenience you in terms of transportation (having 2 cars at the destination), safety (walking out at night alone), or cost (paying two cab or train fares).
I hope these help! As always, thanks for writing and good luck.
Posted by Social Grace at 8:53 AM