Tuesday, December 07, 2010

Thanks, But No Thanks

Dear Grace,

I always enjoy reading your posts! I would love your ideas on the following--my dear and wonderful husband is always so thoughtful and considerate in his gift giving to me. When he does buy me something that I know I may not use, and I know I would enjoy something more do you think I should exchange it? I would never want to hurt his feelings nor dampen his spirit in gift-giving, but Hanukkah is here, and I want to be prepared. Thanks for your advice.

Grace Says:

This is a tricky one, indeed, and like many scenarios, the answer is "it depends". If your dear and wonderful husband (by the way, does he have a brother?) bought you a very expensive item that he hoped you would wear daily and it just isn't to your taste, then you should probably fess up. Try your own version of the following script: "Darling, I really love the tiara you got me for Hanukkah, and I know you bought it thinking I would wear it all the time. When I opened it, I thought I would , too. But I am finding that it isn't really workable for me chasing the kids around the park and careening through the grocery store. I am in a quandary--because I truly love the tiara, but I hate to think that it will spend most of its life on my shelf, and only come out for a few very formal occasions. Part of me would love to trade it in for an eternity band that I would wear 24/7. What do you think?"

If the gift is a smaller ticket item and you can consider appearing in it in public occasionally, then keep it, break it out from time to time and hold your tongue. Keep up the good grace in your appreciation and sensitivity to your lovely husband--and, really, tiaras can be au courant if paired with the appropriate ensemble.

Since you mentioned Hanukkah, I was reminded of Adam Sandler's hilarous 'carol'; couldn't resist sharing it. Enjoy, and Happy Hanukkah!

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